TRAAAAACK CAAAAAAAAAR!

Tiny Car is Tiny

Tiny Car is Tiny

Some of you reading this may know that, in order to stop my whining about turning 40 The Mrs. got me a track day via Hooked on Driving.

So, yeah, that was really, really fun, but beating up The Mrs.’ Mini for my high priced new hobby1 seems like a dick move.  So now, what I need is a track car.

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  1. Chuck- who provided half of the DNA for BMX wunderkind Devon – Smillie told me that drugs would be a cheaper habit.  As a former MC racer, I’m inclined to believe him

Dear Automotive Hipster

Congratulations on your purchase of a clapped out, old 911 1

 

Not even close to this nice.

Not even close to this nice.

You have paid roughly the cost of a new Mustang, Camaro or 360 Z 2 for a sports car that is, objectively, worse performing than a Toyota Camry. Also more expensive to maintain and less reliable.

It’s not all doom and gloom, though.  The snap oversteer provided by the world’s worse drive train layout 3 guarantees that when you come around a corner to hot you will back into that tree, not go in face first.

SAFETY!!!!4

Fortunately, you have the additional “style” of the 911 5 will keep you smiling as you sit down for your nightly viewing of Urban Outlaw.6

So, have fun with that.  I’m shopping for old 944s. As long as you stay away from them, I can buy two for the cost of your Magnus Walker door handles.

Thanks,

G.

  1. Photo taken from Influx.  Check that site out, it’s got pretty pictures.
  2. Or a used Boxster or Cayman
  3. Which made sense in the Beetle, but not in a sports car.  Not that purists would ever let it change.
  4. Irony!!!!
  5. Admission time, besides the ridiculous slant nose/935, I’ve always found 911s to be entirely unattractive, to each their own, tho.
  6. I mean, he’s a rich guy who collects Porsches.  Nothing says outlaw like collecting Porsches.

HTC Last

So, according to Engadget, the HTC First (their third attempt at a Facebook phone, naturally) will not be sold in the UK, because it’s stupid.  Combined with the executive team of the company acting like rats on a sinking ship this is not at all good. But back to the HTC First and why no one should be surprised that this is happening.

So, what is the HTC First?

It Is This

It Is This

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Total Eclipse of My Car

The first car I bought with my own money was a 1996 Mitsubishi Eclipse GS-T, like this one but with less jack stand:

Exactly like this one, but with less jack stand

That car taught me about several things including torque steer, lift throttle oversteer (on I-85 South) and the insurance turbo tax.  When she wasn’t trying to kill me, which wasn’t often, she was a great lady.  The same can be said for many women I have known.

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Matrix Rig

The original “3D spin” effect used in a gap commercial was craziness and revolutionary at the time. The Wachowski Brothers (back when they were brothers) raised the bar on the effect with The Matrix (or as I like to call it, *their last, good movie”).

Now, however; you can make a “matrix” rig for the cost of a nice SLR and have it shoot 1080p footage controlled by your cell phone. Someone needs to make one of these and attach it to the lip of a mini-ramp.

Then invite Dave Osato, Rob Ridge and Tobias Wicke (I just noticed that Shea Nyquist got a shout out in the credits of this, so not so fat fetched).

Music That Doesn’t Suck – Ewan Dobson

I first heard about Ewan Dobson when Paul Oakenfold posted amazement about a guy playing trance on an acoustic guitar. I was blown away when I checked out the video. So, I checked out a lot more of his videos to see a guy dressed like video game characters playing crazy songs on acoustic guitars.

Sometimes he does tuff just for shits and giggles (a guitar strung with dental floss) and some songs are way better than others.  Either way, Ewav Dobson doesn’t suck.