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I’m not even a little Japanese. But I find myself full of racial indignation from this.
Seriously.
SERIOUSLY?
Shared because misery loves company.
I lied. That totally sucks.
It’s always been obvious in R&B music, the Xerox effect. Where you end up with a copy of a copy of a copy that vaguely resembles the original but in a totally superficial way. Where as, say Aretha Franklin and Al Green started in the church and their singing style evolved from that, Whitney Houston was influenced by both singing in church and the things that Aretha/Tina/The Supremes/The Temps/Etc. brought to it. By the time we get to Mariah Carey the church is gone and it’s just an imitation of Whitney Houston and Beyonce’, an imitation of Marian. A copy of a copy of a copy that vaguely resembles the original, but not really. It went from “The Spirit moving me” to “urban yodelling” in forty years.
Hair metal is no different, but the time span was well and truly more compressed. That first generation of bands, your Motley Crues and Quiet Riots were influenced by 70s glam and punk bands. Motley, specifically, were the result of Sid Vicious sodomizing Ziggy Stardust. The second generation, your Poisons and Warrants (Guns and Roses were always an outlier, anyway) lost the punk rock attitude and focused on the glam image, by the time you got to the third and fourth generation you ended up with bands who either had great musical chops but no identity (check out Shotgun Messiah, a band that put out three albums and an EP that all sound like they were made by different bands) lots of musical chops, but little sincerity (I’m looking at you, Spread Eagle) or Trixter. You also had a weird situation where the bands that influenced the movement (Kiss, Aerosmith) re-tooled their image to fit into it better.
Also, Tuff. Stevie Rachelle’s greatest musical accomplishment was running the now pretty much dead in the water Metal Sludge. But before that he was the lead singer of Tuff, and it would not surprise me if he ever demanded a paternity test from Brett Michaels. Tuff was to 80s hair metal what Justin Bieber is to Al Green, a copy of a copy of a copy of a thing so far removed from the thing that only the faults remain. Even through the influenza and cough syrup haze I currently live in, this song sucks. Hard. Not even the ‘Tussin can help.
Over on the Deciblog they’re still doing “Justify Your Shitty Taste in Music” (I STILL think someone should do “Justify The Shitty Music in Your Web Edit”). They got around to someone justifying liking Celtic Frost’s Cold Lake. And they posted the video to Cherry Orchards
I had forgotten how bad that song was. Really. (I will agree that the opening riff is pretty awesome, though)
To understand why Cherry Orchards is so bad you kind of have to hear what Celtic Frost is supposed to sound like.
I’m waiting for Sean to chime in on how it wasn’t that bad. It was that bad. Tom G. Warrior, the man who wrote “Procreation of the Wicked” is wearing fingerless, white, lace gloves. It was that bad.