mysticnegro.com Kranky v3.0

When I started Kranky, what, three years ago I thought it was a simple idea, I liked BMX.  I was a fan and occasional rider and I liked writing.  For the most part the BMX press and BMX websites were all cheerleaders, but BMX companies were doing many, many things that I thought were *dvmb.*  I figured I could take the piss and maybe bring up some intelligent points along the way.

And I did, I think, for a while and I got a little bit of internet fame and I got into arguments with magazine editors and I got advice from people who help run bike companies and it was all good.  But then something funny happened, BMX stopped being interesting.  I mean, I still like getting up on Sunday mornings and carving bowls (well, not now, it’s damn cold) but the industry stuff, that’s just kinda turned into the same thing over and over and over and I’m just not interested.  At some point I realized that every post on my “BMX” blog was about cars or metal videos from You Tube.

What’s worse than a dead blog?  A Zombie Blog.  I don’t know about where you guys are from, but downs south we kill zombies, or something.  Either way, I think it’s time to put this one to rest.  I tried putting more non-BMX content on it, but that always felt weird, like I was sullying the brand (such as it is).  I tried finding more things that I could put my spin on to make things interesting, but nope.  Without more time, energy and money than I have to devote to this place Kranky really was just going to turn into me rehashing the same thoughts over and over again and how lame is that?  Possibly more lame than it was anyway.

So, I’m leaving it up for posterity, but Kranky’s dead.  I like owning Mysticnegro.com so I’ll figure out something to do with it.  Big thanks to everyone who’s read and commented over the past few years (except for that one dude, fuck him).  See ya ’round.

The big news last week in BMX was Rob-o was giving his first full interview about Cult and it would show up on The Come Up.  And it did and, the question everyone was dying to hear the answer to – why did Robbie run screaming from the S&M World Domination Headquarters and Money Minting Machine – was answered with…

Hold on, let me get this right…

No fucking comment.

Well, that cleared that right up.

Meanwhile Ian Schwartz decided to quit riding and become a farmer.  I actually get that.  I know it’s hard for some people to understand, but riding bicycles isn’t the most awesomest thing in the world for every body for all of their lives, especially if it’s your job.  Who hasn’t want to quit their job and find something more rewarding? I’ll say this to anybody, you should only ride as much and as hard as is fun for you. It always surprises me how many people have a hard time with that.

Of course, the real news of the week is this.

That’s a brand new, Polaroid camera folks.  Thanks to the work of The Impossible Project new Polaroid film is coming soon, so Polaroid has decided to get back in the game announcing a new model in either metallic silver or woodgrain at CES.  While I realize that you can do much to simulate the look of Polaroids via digital manipulation, you can also masturbate.  In both cases it’s not the same.  Plus, you want a conversation starter, pull out an instant camera.

Even though I have a Polaroid (I had two, but that’s a whole ‘nuther story involving a social experiment gone terribly wrong) I’m happy to see these. [via Gizmodo]

Thank you.  It’s like you took my bike and made it a production model that costs less than five bills.  You are awesome.

Aston Martin’s new car, the Cygnet, is a Toyota (soon to be released as a Scion in the US)  iQ city car (think a Smart car, only smaller and cheaper) which has an A/M nose and a bespoke interior.  For over twice the cost of the donor vehicle Aston hopes to sell 2000 Cygnets to existing customers.  Let me restate that, Aston Martin plans to sell 2000 $35,000 cars based on a sub $15,000 car to a group of people who bitched and moaned when they introduced a “bargain priced” $120,000 car.

To convince people that this is not a bad idea, the Brits have released this video which is full of Parkour/Free Running (there is a difference, one is concerned with efficiency, the other includes flourishes think racing v. riding trails).  Ok, it’s not full of it, it kinda uses it really poorly and it’s just a really bad ad.  I guess there’s always a possibility that when a new sport is being used to sell an old product it will be done wrong.  This is pretty high on the “it makes everything look lame” scale.

Still, after seeing Jake Kooser’s Redline strapped to the back of his Smart car, I can’t dismiss this abomination and a bike rack as not a viable mode of BMX transportation.

Hi, it’s me, George.  I’ve been paying attention to you for, what, three, four years now and, uhm, yeah, you’re slacking.  Hard. I don’t know, maybe it’s a sign of the times, maybe its just a cyclical downturn.  Ok, it’s totally a cyclical downturn, still, I miss the crazy.

You see, for most of the existence of this site I’ve basically been able to poke fun at the easy target that was the truly ridiculous “advancements” of BMX as the freestyle industry marched head first towards making every bike look like an 80’s race machine.  But now we’re here and, yeah, I’m bored.  I mean, how often can I point out that there is a strength/weight correlation that you can only ignore for so long or make fun of how every bike looks the same or scream “we’re all gonna die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” while posting a picture of some part that’s been machined to within a picometer of its life?

Probably about as many times as I have.

But the thing is, without pushing those limits and making those thoroughly ridiculous parts, you never know where they are and you don’t get better, or you don’t get better faster.  Also, I find myself at a loss for content for this site, which makes the two people that read it very, very sad.

So, for me, please bring back the crazy parts that make little sense and bikes that endanger your life just by looking at them and ugly color schemes (thank you GT) and general ridiculousness.  I miss it.

I was listening to The Jason Ellis Show (which, frankly, has become the only thing worth listening to on Satellite Radio) the other day and Rob Dyrdek was on.  It appears that Dyrdek is trying to put together a new skateboarding league for street skaters called, uh, the Street League.  Here’s all you need to know.

1. Invite only and you need a signature shoe to even qualify.
2. First place pays out six figures.
3. Last place gets five grand
4. Dyrdek owns your ass.

It’s that last bit that piqued my interest.  One of the rules of the Street League is that it’s exclusive.  If you skate the SL you can’t skate the X-Games or Dew Tour.  I thought “wow, that’s pretty jacked up,” but apparently it was the skaters’ idea.  Nobody likes the X-Games and this was as good an excuse as any to screw them.  So, assuming that Dyrdek gets this off the ground what you’ll see at the X-Games is Chaz Ortiz and Nyjah Houston as the marquee names in street skating.

What does this have to do with BMX?  Well, a couple of things to remember. 1. When it started the X-Games was a 10 day, 40+ hour television extravaganza.  It’s, really, a shadow of its former self and the Dew Tour is barely better.  Remember the Gravity Games were a solid month of prime, major network sports coverage, but this year the Dew Tour was mostly relegated to super late night on USA coverage.  Which is to say, the networks’ dedication to the events is, at best, waning. Secondly, remember how their used to be downhill BMX in the X-Games, then Travis Pastrana wanted to go rallying and, boom, substitution?  Also remember how vert was dropped from the X-Games until Shaun White said superpark was dumb?  See how Danny Way was able to get an entire new event created based on his own fever dream? BMX in the X-Games is, more than most other sports it seems, subject to the whims of non-BMX atheletes.

So, what happens if all of the big names in skateboarding take their balls and go home?  Well, it’s possible that the X/Dew people will attempt to play the role of kingmakers and push the next generation (see: Sheckler, Ryan/Ortiz, Chaz/Houston, Nyjah) but they put so much press into being “the superbowl of action sports” that that’s unlikely.  They could try to push some other sport, but what other sport has that kind of penetration?  To put it another way (and rip off Chris Rock) if Ryan Sheckler woke up with Jamie Bestwick money he’d slit his own throat and jump out a window.

Yeah, you’ll never get the part of your life devoted to “double pits to chesty” back, but Sheckler probably bought a new Mercedes with the money he made off this web vid.

If I were a betting man (and I’m not, because I’m lousy at it) I’d say that the X/Dew people will do the most logical thing and step up the skateboarding purses…by cutting other crap.  I mean, Dyrdek’s got a lot of money, but he can’t outspend The Great Satan Comcast.  That being said, Disney and NBC/Universal aren’t trying to throw good money after bad.  X-Games have already killed dirt and they tried to kill vert once.  I’m pretty sure that the street luge guys thought they were safe when the sky surfers got the axe.  I’m not saying that’s what’s going to happen, or that BMX will be the first thing to get stuff cut, just that that seems to be the most logical way this thing’ll play out.

Of course, it won’t because I think it will.  Still, it might be time for Mirra to get to work on the Park League.

I’ve been in a pretty crap mood for the last couple of weeks and haven’t really felt like writing.  But, since I didn’t go to the King of the Animal House jam, instead putting in extra hours at the job (said my boss after I told him about it, “Man, you should’ve told me.  Hell, *I’D* want to go to that!”) I figure maybe, instead of not writing I should just write, madder.  Since I figure that I’ve shed all my readers now, anyway, I won’t offend anyone.

Local News
DevonSmillie.Com is now up, if lacking in content.  Right now it’s mostly just his Twitter feed (looks, like he’s finally getting his knee fixed) and some random vids.  Chuckles, get on that.  Also, am I interpreting this right, is Devon on DK flow?

There’s a rumor that a new rider owned shop/park is opening in Peachtree City.  Given that it’s hit both the 70s and the 20s this week, a new indoor spot would probably be good for those south of the city.

Cult
Apparently the Cult team is riding prototypes made by Solid and FBM and they’re “loving them.”  Which is surprising, you’d think one thing Solid and FBM couldn’t do would be build bicycles.  The bikes have higher top tubes and weigh more, because the riders were apparently tired of breaking stuff and looking stupid.  Also, half the Cult team still has Fit Signature models being sold.  Seriously, GT at least had the dignity to change the Bestwick model’s name after they shitcanned him.  But, then again, “Castillo Bars.” I wonder if they’re still getting royalties.

In other Cult news the “correct” spelling is apparently “Cvlt” like “Bvlgari” or “Stvpid.”  If people start replacing “s” with “z” again I’m fucking done.  Done with what, I don’t know, but I’m done.  Seriously, I thought “Kranky” was the most dumberest name ever, but I was wrong.

Giant
The biggest bike company in the world has never been able to get BMX right (I mean, they’ve produced quality bikes that have held up fine to the abuse dished out to them, put together great teams and given money to riders, publications and events over the last decade plus, but they’ve never gotten it “right”).  They probably should’ve stayed Mosh, but whatever.  Taj may have to get a real job, that’s all that matters.

Huffing
As I kind of expected, Eastern has spun Nitrous off into its own brand with the idea that they’ll be a budget, high value brand while Eastern becomes a premium brand.  Nitrous will have no team and its marketing budget will be relatively small in an attempt to pass savings on to you, the rider.  As a brand, it’s also very, very, orange.  I give this approach six months.  Not because it’s a bad idea, it’s a great idea…for not BMX.  BMX is extremely fashion conscious and inexpensive + no team = crap (even if its not).  Me, I kind of dig the Nitrous frame because it looks like something a normal human would ride.  It doesn’t, however, make up for the other, Killorado-ized frames in the Eastern llineup, the thought of which makes me want to harm myself and others.

My adidas
adidas finally killed off the last of its BMX program.  But its BMX program existed largely in Europe and consisted mostly of flatlanders and who cares about them anyway?  Whatever, I just bought two new pair of adidas yesterday, I’m old and my buying habits are set in stone.

Picking up the slack the guys over at WTP have decided to launch, Almond, their own shoe brand (because a bike company, two parts brands and a retail store don’t keep them busy enough).  So, we’ve got Orchid, Lotek, Almond, Caste is apparently still a going concern and SCG still exists (despite no one ever actually seeing a pair in real life).  I’ve even heard rumors that Inopia is trying to rise zombie like from the grave.  If my math is right, this means that there are now enough rider owned shoe companies so that every professional BMXer currently living above the poverty level on sponsorship money alone can have one all to themselves.

David Lang
Is the new Defgrip Blogger.  I’ve always liked Defgrip in concept if not in execution (which mostly comes down to the fact that my tastes and the tastes of the guys over there run, if not 180 degrees from each other, easily a good 90 degrees).  In fact, I think that Defgrip is probably a good template for the BMX print media going forward.  Of course, I so rarely buy BMX magazines anymore, it could already be the template.  Still, with this David officially has 94763 blogs, making him the busiest man on the BMX interweb.  Far be it from me to make a joke about Mssr. Lang living up to positive racial stereotypes…but everyone knows that Scots are hard workers.

Flick Trix
I’ve seen a lot of finger bike ads as of late.  While a lot of people look at finger bikes and say, “they’re gay,” I’d like to remind you that being attracted to someone of your own gender is gay, finger bikes are toys.  Judging from how Indy Nowak loves his they’re also good toys for kids on training wheels.  Love ‘em or hate ‘em teh licensing money that brands are pulling in from finger bikes is better than the no licensing money they pulled in without them.  Also, the fact that they’re running TV ads means that someone out there believes that there’s a market, which is a positive sign.

Well, crap, not nearly as pissed off as I am.  Whatever.

Remember kids, no matter where you go, there you are.

This post started out when I checked out the new Odyssey catalog and noticed that they seem to have given up on metal pedals all together. This got me to thinking about how when I was a kid, getting rid of the cheap, plastic pedals that came with most completes was of high priority.  Shimano DX pedals where a huge status symbol.  If you were the man you’d convince your parents to upgrade your cranks to three piece ones at the same time (three piece cranks and one piece cranks used different spindle sizes.  Of course, Stu Thomsen rode $12 one piece cranks and could beat everyone, so…).  But these days kids throw away perfectly good metal pedals to replace them with plastic ones and higher end completes come with plastic pedals.

Then I started thinking about how many parts on a modern BMX bike are disposable.  I mean, I’m not just talking about plastic pedals and plastic pegs but also any peg labeled “park only/light street.” All of the plastic one piece seat/post combos, super thin grips and constant forays into plastic bottom brackets.  Not to mention that there seems to be a race on to see how much material can be removed from every metal part of a bike until someone actually dies from product failure.

Somehow or other we’ve gotten to a point in BMX where marketers have turned weakness into strength, “Plegs are cheap and easy to replace!” Yeah, but a couple of weeks ago I was talking to Dave at the skatepark (and I don’t know Dave’s last name, he’s just Dave, there’s also Mrs. Dave and Baby Dave) and he was talking about how he’s had the same set of Kink OG pegs for either five or nine years and he’s almost ground through them, finally.  I’m not against plastic pegs (I actually run two sets of Dumbchucks, I do like that they’re less destructive, although I have to call “marketing hyperbole” on George French’s original claims that plegs do no harm to the environment) but I just think it’s crazy that kids will now replace the cheap Wellgo pedals that came on their bikes – that will likely outlast their frames – for equally cheap plastic pedals that will likely need to be replaced due to general riding.

Say what you will, the BMX industry has giant balls for pulling this one off.  But not as big a set as the good folks of Sears, Roebuck & Co.

Anyone who knows me knows about this

View from my deck 8:31 am 09/21/2009

I’d gone to let the dogs out an hour earlier and water had actually gotten up to the top step.  At this point the water started to recede and by 1:00 it was all gone.  By 7:00PM the water was back up to the top step again.  We had experienced a “500 year flood” two times in one day. In the shed were, among other things, my paint gun, some two stage auto paints, my table saw, my random orbital sander and my lawnmower.  All but the paint gun were submerged, twice.

So, for the last couple of weeks we’ve been looking for a new lawnmower and we found that most Sears stores carry a collection of used mowers, some of which had what seemed to be really good prices.  But you had to get them when they were “priced to sell.”  Last week a salesman even straight up told us not to waste our time and come back this week.  So, this week we came back and we saw a few used mowers that seemed to be good deals, but The Mrs. said “let’s go inside and see if these are actually good deals compared to new ones.”

No, they weren’t.

The Sears at Gwinnett Place Mall (and I don’t know if this is true for all of them) was selling used mowers for exactly the same price as new mowers.

We couldn’t believe this was true, so we went out and checked and, yup.  So, a guy who answered the phone “manager on duty” while talking to us was like, “If it were me, I’d buy a new mower, the used ones are usually people who really don’t understand lawn mowers who bring them back and they may not have treated them the best.”  But the price of a new one and the price of a used one are EXACTLY THE SAME, “Yeah, I can’t really change the price.  I’d just buy a new one.” But, seriously, why would you price a used one the same as a new one? “Yeah, I’m not in control of that.”

Yeah, BMX industry, you may have perfected openly selling planned obsolescence to adolescents, but your cojones need to grow about 50 sizes to match this crap.

Also, don’t buy used lawn mowers from Sears.

Dear Odyssey,

We’ve had a long relationship.  Way back when you sold gear that was cheaper than the OEMs but better than Pyramid Accessories I was a fan. These words I say, I say out of love.

Please stop lying.

My story begins a couple of years ago when, fed up with the lack of braking power (or lack there of) of the K2 I decided to replace the painted Sun rims with some Duralectra Hazard Lites that you had on closeout.  While I was doing that I was also going to replace my rear hub and sprocket with the then new standard 25/9.  I think everyone knows the end of that story, I ended up getting a new bike, which also had painted rims, so I put the Hazards on it.

Now, the word on the Duralectra rims and the Hard Anodized rims that replaced them was that they “brake as well as chrome.”  This is a lie.  I mean, they brake much, MUCH better than painter rims, but saying they brake as well as chrome is like saying I’m as fit as Usain Bolt because I’m in better shape than this guy.  But, I’d talked myself into thinking that the braking performance I had was as good as it got, primarily since I’m about twice the size of the average BMXer and I haven’t ridden a bike with chrome wheels in like 12 years (it was a Huffy Half-Ton if you’re wondering, I could lock up the rear brakes at will on that thing). Even after swapping out the stock Tektros for a full on Odyssey setup, my brakes were mostly “alright.”  That was as good as it could get thanks to physics I thought.

Then I rode a bike with pretty much the exact same brake setup as mine (Evo2s front and rear, gyro, the biggest difference is he has Colony levers instead of my Monolever/M2 setup) but with chrome rims and, by jove, I could lock up the rears, the hell?  The problem, I figured, was the rims, “brakes as well as chrome,” was just not true, and it was time for me to just give up on the black wheels and admit defeat.

Then I spoke to Devon on a completely unrelated note.  He wanted to sell his red, HA wheels.  I’m kinda over the black/white thing and am thinking about adding some color to my bike but I’d resigned myself to chrome wheels.  Devon said, “dude, try the clear pads, their made for painted wheels!” I said, “why should I trust you, you ride brakeless!” and he said “I rode brakes a couple of weeks ago!” And there was much exclaiming.

Still, I decided to drop the twenty bucks on a couple of pair of them last week and last night I put them on my bike (as an aside, Dear Brian Scura – I know that you’ve probably made all of the money you need by licensing the original gyro design, then providing Orygs to every bike manufacturer ever, but can you please turn your mad genius to making a quick release lever for U-Brakes so that changing my pads didn’t need to be a PROCESS.  Kthxbai).  In between buying them I noticed something on the Odyssey website, “clear pads are best for painted rims, hard anodized rims work best with black or red pads.”

LIES!

I used black pads with HA rims and they were a joke!

But

I’m hear to tell you that the clear pads with my rims is a revelation.  This morning I went to Bay Creek and I was able to lock up my brakes at will.  Maybe now I’ll learn fufanus and abubacas!  Probably not, but I was able to pull off an endo without my front wheel washing out from under me.  I now have very, very good brakes and its all because I’m doing something that the manufacturer said is not recommended.  I’m here to tell you, if you’re a little big around the middle, but still like having all the fancy colors on your bike, clear + HA rims is super awesome, regardless of what Odyssey says.

Odyssey, stop denying it, clear pads are the way of the future.

Hello,

My name is George and I don’t like Fit Bike Co.  I know I’ve hinted around at my dislike of them before, but I figure now is time for me to go into the how’s and whyfors.  Y’see, it’s not like I hate their products, which I think are of the exact same quality as every other product at whatever price point they’re competing in.  Let’s be honest, the most innovative thing Fit’s done is name a product line after closeted gay sex, other than that all of their stuff is pretty much just like everybody else’s stuff.

Nope, my problem was always Fit’s image.  In an industry where avoidance of the jock mentality has been fetishized to an almost idiotic point Fit’s image was almost the the very definition of the jock mentality (and, let’s be honest^2, the dirty little secret of BMX is that the “jock mentality” is actually “the average mentality of 16 year old boys” and this sport is lousy with 16 year old boys).  While other brands seemed to sell “ride our stuff and you’ll have fun,” Fit sold “ride our stuff and you’ll be cool.”  If BMX is high school, Fit was the captain of the football team, who was banging the head of the cheerleading squad, and her best friend…and they both knew and didn’t care. Read more…